Flora

Flora came to Ireland from West Africa. She is a student and a single parent living in direct provision. She was in Ireland for two years when she participated in the GBV-MIG research project.

Migration experience

I would like to start my experience in direct provision.… I have a little baby now, a year old. So, around the time when I just had her … I was moved to one of the centres in Dublin. Because I started my study in [a Dublin University] … I was begging to them that I need to remain in … [a Dublin centre].… Because since I came to Ireland, the study was something that was giving me hope,… [that there] may be a future after all.… Then I was taken to this place … [and the woman there] was very mean.… So I went to the kitchen to eat … and I [saw] … a very much expired date [on a food item]. And I was breastfeeding so I was kind of concerned.… So I called the woman … [to say that] she should please be careful [with expiry dates] … and she said, “Okay.” … [But then] she went to the kitchen … [and] apparently she took every expired food [item] … and dumped [them] in the bin and [then] came back to me,… [saying] there was no bad food [and] … I was just lying.… I wasn’t sure who she was speaking to … and then everything kind of brought back all that happened to me …[and] I started to see the trafficker, because she was so aggressive and … determined … [to] not let my voice to be heard. She was telling me that I was crazy. That was kind of very mean.…

In the next day I wasn’t in the room and she was going through my things … [and I said], “You can not go through my things. It is not okay because I am here seeking protection. That doesn’t mean I don’t know … my rights.” … So, then she … brought me a letter that I have to transfer in a place to Galway. Then I said … I can’t do that because I told them about my situation and I am studying in [the university in Dublin] and I have a little girl.… So, anyways, I was later moved to Wexford … [and also] she went to Tusla and complained to them that I wasn’t taking care of my baby. I told them my side of the story [and] from then they started to help me … [and] I was moved back to Dublin.…

So far it’s good. Because the interaction is not that much.… Like, we cook for ourselves here. They give us points and we go to the shop and buy things and cook. But when they cook for you it is a lot messier. I think that little freedom they [have] given us kind of lessens the problem and the friction. I have a medical card and I have a GP who I can talk to. But there was a time that, sometimes, I have a few concern[s] about my health, my sexual health. I kind of need someone to talk to, but I don’t know where to go.

DSGBV experience and access to supports

Maybe, sometimes when I am single parenting and people come and say, “Where is your husband?” … I feel that I should have that privacy to myself. Like, if you don’t see a man by my side, you shouldn’t … [be] telling me that I can’t have a child without a man in my life.… [But] in my life that would be [the way] in my country … as a woman. I’ve been sexually assaulted, I’ve been raped. And I have to be a prostitute for money. But these things you can’t say. I’m kind of grateful for Ireland in that sense that I can come out and say, “This has happened to me” and I can get help.… But in my country you can’t tell anybody that’s what happened to me. You can’t mention that you’ve been raped as a woman. Because, first, they would ask you horrible questions.… And the society just, after they hear your story, they kind of cast you aside. Like you are filthy. They don’t give you any support. You are not supposed to seek help.…

My experience affects me a lot.… Sometimes, when I see men, first thing comes to my mind, is that sex he wants to do?.… I don’t like to be with a man and its kind of always awkward to me. And I get scared. Somebody here in this centre, a man I saw was married.… He would greet me and talk. But when I noticed that he has a wife and kid … I kind of relax around them. I don’t have that much fear. So, then he took my number from the group chat … and he messaged me that he wanted to come to my room. I thought that was really weird … [and] said I was busy. Then another night around 10 pm he messaged me that he was coming to my room.… I said, “What it is that you want to talk to me about?” … He didn’t say anything. So, he came … somebody came to my room, and knocking. I didn’t go. Because I was scared. I just, I ignored [it]. He knocked for a while and left.

I got to know Ruhama. Then I called them and I started to mix up with them. So that has been one of the good things. That talking to other people, who have share their same experiences.… It was great. And even now I have been in counselling … [and] I am improving, so I am not so bad.… And another is my course. When I was for the interview … I was pregnant. I wasn’t sure how to tell it, even I wasn’t sure they were to give me the place. So that became a really good thing for me. That meant really a great deal for me, when I get the admission. And I get the great support. And when I was going through these things, with that woman, I had support from the student union. The contacted me, they helped me.

Interactions with the authorities

[Regarding the International Protection Office] so far, I’ve not really have much to deal with them. When I went to seek the asylum. And when I was called for an interview. And it was okay. When [the Garda] came to force me out from that centre, they were not harsh. They came and asked my date of birth. That’s all. But in my experience in back home, I never had to deal with police. And I’m scared of them. Even from here, I’m scared of [the police in my home country]. But here it’s not so bad. If you don’t have problem with them, they don’t have problem with you. And even when I had that issue, with that woman, they were not horrible to me. My caseworker was good and she was with me, she was always on video call to make sure that nothing bad happened to me. So that was good.

[I think] there’s nothing out there to protect me. I feel that if something happens [to hurt me], my case will be forgotten. I always have that in my head. If I am seeing teenagers before me, I have that in my mind. Because I heard about … the person that worked for Deliveroo. Our people are having to fight for justice, for the person. It’s a kind of pressure that I am having. I want to protect myself. Because I don’t know … that there is something to protect me, in this country. So I want to avoid as much trouble as possible. Because, I don’t believe there is enough protection for me, as an African. This is because [of] what I have been reading. Nothing has happened to me personally. But the media and news….

Integration into Irish society

I’ve met [Irish people]. I am not really outgoing so much. But when I have, I joined [the] group, I have friends and in school. Before the pandemic I was doing the access class, I was going to the campus. So I’ve had [a] great experience so far. Now [during the pandemic] everything is in online. I read online. Not face to face. And I feel, I don’t know, because I can’t say what’s in somebody’s mind. I can only read what they are showing me. So I think it’s been great. [In my current course] they were really very tolerant. Because when I just had my baby, I was taking her to the class. They allowed me to do that. Students didn’t mind. They were so happy to have her. I was welcomed and it was great.