Tae

Tae came to Ireland on a student visa from a country in East Asia. She had been in Ireland for six years when she participated in the GBV-MIG research project.

Migration experience

I think [my migration experience] has been mostly positive despite the difficulties and obstacles that I faced. I always have to say that I do come from a privileged position where I had the fortune to have the scholarship … to be able to have the education and language. I’m sure it’s a more positive experience compared to other types of migration where you were forced to migrate or you were forced to be a refugee, whereas for me it was a voluntary decision to study Irish literature. I was very passionate about Ireland so the fact that I had the resources and I had the opportunity to study in Ireland is in some ways overall a positive experience and I am very fortunate and grateful.… But I do have a bit of a complicated migration story in that, like, I was born in [an East Asian country] … and then after two months … I went to [a country in West Africa] and lived there for four years. Then [I] came back to [my home country] for three years or so … [before going to] Germany for four years .… [and] then came back to [East Asia]. Then I went to Egypt … [and] Morocco and lived there for three years … [and] came back to [East Asia] and went to a bit of high school and college. So, I went to ten different schools as I was growing up.… It was Dad’s work and occupation so … it’s complicated.

[Arriving in Ireland, finding accommodation was difficult.] I found my place through sending fifty to a hundred emails, only to have, like, two viewings.… [But] I have been staying there … [since I started my studies]. [Friends or colleagues] afterwards have to pay way more rent than I did … even though my rent is already quite high. [I have accessed counselling] through the Student Health Office … [but] I actually should register for a GP [because I have had a medical condition that needed treatment but my insurance is for emergency things only]. When I went to see a doctor … I had to pay €100 for twenty minutes. I think the biggest [difficultly] is … loneliness and trying to … survive on your own. It was very difficult to make friends,… to really feel like you belonged or feel that you have to fit in, in certain ways. I think I found that social aspects, socialising and … those different cultural codes, I found that quite difficult. And obviously certain racist incidents … from [the] streets. It comes at a very unexpected time.

DSGBV experience and access to supports

So I was walking down [a busy city street]. I think I was doing my masters [then] and someone pushed me. An old man pushed me and [said], “Go back to the Philippines, go back to where you’re from,” … shouting loudly.… But I think the sad thing … which … adds to the loneliness … [is] everyone was there. People were around, you know, but they were just going about their business. No one stops to [to say], “Are you okay?” … Someone can just encroach your space … but the fact that everything around me was still going on as normally, I felt that discrepancy very difficult.… People find it justifiable now to be angry at immigrants or something.… I definitely encountered more since the pandemic, but it was always there. I’m quite scared that they might … counterattack or, if I said something, there might be more harm done, so I always end up kind of shrugging it off [and saying], “Ah, it’s fine.” Because I am not physically tall so it feels like a [too] small incident to go to the Gardaí.… I would just cry on my own. I didn’t even tell my parents because that would make them sad as well. So, yeah, I actually didn’t seek any help or support [about this incident].

[Regarding whether racist incidents like this also have a gender dimension], I think sometimes it’s confusing. [Did this happen to me] because I am racially different or is it because I am [a] woman? But [my] general sense is that I’m not taken seriously in academic contexts because I am a woman but probably also because I look different. But I think I’m exposed way more to sexual harassment and I don’t think that’s the same for … Asian men. I think as a woman I face way more sexually related attacks. [For example], one very creepy old professor [was] really into … [East Asian] girls [but] not mentioning anything about my [academic] paper.… [You] feel so objectified or fetishised in this trope of [the] cheerful Asian woman.… And even … on the streets as well, [dealing with a white Irish taxi driver], I said something grammatically wrong in English, like, “Could I get on the car?” and he [says], “No, you get in the car but you can get on me.” I don’t think that would have happened if I were a man.

Interactions with the authorities

I have seen [the Garda] around but again I never felt [my situation was] serious enough to deal with the police. I had one incident where a member of the church was driving us to somewhere and he had parked and his car was robbed. The windows were broken and the police [came to] sort the situation out.… They are very efficient in some ways. I would have imagined them to be dismissive but they were co-operative enough. I [have] heard that they were very dismissive. I actually did see on [a city street] as I was waiting for my bus, there was [a] drunk man and the Garda actually violently hit the man and put him down and again I remember being so startled by that Garda’s action. So, I think that they can be very … violent and cold. The INIS [Irish Naturalisation and Immigration Service] I think … have gotten better since they … applied technology in some ways.… Whereas in 2015 I remember waiting … a few hours at the immigration service and even getting [an] appointment was impossible. And even at the office they look quite tired and cold and annoyed.

Integration into Irish society

[My interaction with Irish people has been positive.] This is such a strange thing to say but I think it’s only when I had a boyfriend that was Irish that you became part of a tribe or something, as in before that you were kind of, like, floating around not quite fitting in everywhere. Once you become someone’s partner, then their whole family has to talk to you.… In other places they would [think], “I don’t need to talk to this woman,” but now that “she is my son’s girlfriend” they have to talk.

I think [Irish people are] friendly and they are all good,… but I don’t think they will ever fully understand or see things from my perspective.… I think they’re all great but … quite narrow-minded. A lot of them only stayed in Ireland or maybe travelled a little bit in Europe … [so] they don’t have that much experience or knowledge of other cultures.… I think [the] young generation definitely are very eager to learn and very aware of things. I haven’t seen that many students, for instance, who would be as ignorant. When I met my boyfriend’s parents, for instance, they were quite, like, still stubborn in their own way. So, I think there is a bit of generation difference as well. [Being able to access] the high education level for me was quite positive … [and] the libraries and the city life … [and] there are lots of living writers around … so you talk to them, you get to meet them. So I quite like the literary scene and the theatre as well, so. I think I feel more part of it [now] at least. Six years is quite a long time to be here and I do feel a bit more integrated than when I first came to Ireland, but I still [do not know if I will stay or leave].